Video Blog Feb.28

Making Sense of Something Seemingly Random

Above are drawings I did by randomly spraying paint onto a piece of paper and then drawing overtop the color with a pen to make some faces.

This process, even though it may seem totally random, could be a good representation of how you should approach living.

Hear me out....

As I've said many times before, I think that we are all dealing with similar struggles of identity and purpose, and when you start getting into it, it almost seems like a bottomless pit of crap and scaryness. At times I feel this way but sometimes, I feel nice and warm inside by one simple line, 

"It is what it is."

Why does this give me comfort? Because when you really think about life and how we are all connected by the fact that we exist, the rest will come as it should, because that's what it's supposed to do.

What I mean by this is, there is much to be gained by analyzing our existence, but a lot can be gained by existing now and realizing that is all that will ever be. To think about tomorrow is no less crazy than thinking you can fly. There is truth in everything that is now- the pain, the love, the gut feelings, the strength, the weakness- all of it is truth and it is what it is.

When i think about what I've done above, I see the struggle of life. Nine figures created from nine different sprays. Were the images created by me, or did they already exist and I helped them appear? I did not spend time thinking about the composition or the shape or the expression on each face, I let the spray decide what was going to happen. I let the form form itself and didn't get caught up on what I thought it should be. Life is most appreciated when you let it happen. Who you are is who you are and there is nothing you can do other than expose it and embrace it. 

These figures are connected not by their differences but by their participation in the act of existence. They all exist on the paper and their truth is in their paper-ness not their spraypaint-ness.

the shoreline

As someone who has always had issues with identity, it comes like a breath of fresh air when I see that I've made a little bit of progress and feel a little bit more certain in my skin. We all seem to be sharing this struggle and although we all may be dealing with it differently, I think that the problems remain the same. 

Who am I? What should I do? Where do I belong? These are all questions we encounter in our daily quest to internal peace and I believe there are answers out there for us all.

It's not an easy journey, but I can't think of any bigger reward than finding out who you are.

My artistic journey has brought me to this point in time where I am interested in exploring my own personal experiences in the hopes of empowering others to look within for answers.

This first spoken word piece entitled "A Walk on the Beach of my Mind" is my first project that tries to add a bit of dimension to the human struggle- giving it a place that it can be explored rather than imagining it as a dark hole to get lost in.

This project will be ongoing and will involve audio, video, sculpture, written letters, photographs and illustrations. I hope that you can take this journey with me and maybe gain a bit of perspective on what ever struggles you may have.

You have the ability to change your mind and opportunity awaits at every step of the way.

-Cam

A conversation with Identity

Identity- "Hello, my name is Identity."
Cam- "Oh hello Identity, where did you come from?"

I- "I come from a place that is similar to here but not the same. It's strange here with you."
C- "Oh really? Can you describe your home to me? I only know this world. "

I- "I come from a world where I am accepted."
C- "Accepted? What does that mean? "

I- "I am me, and it's okay. "
C- "Oh. Well that's strange. You see, people here are only valuable if they can make money. Do you know what money is?"

I- "Money? Yes. I've heard terrible things."
C- "No no, it's not terrible, it helps us decide which ideas are good and which ideas are bad. It's a great system. How do you rate ideas in your world if you don't have money?

I- "All ideas are valuable, it's part of the process. Do you know about the process?"
C- "No not at all, what is it?"

I- "There's no final product or decision to stop at. It's an ongoing journey that we all participate in. Ideas build off one another in order to create more ideas. We don't focus on anything else. We just create more and more thoughts to play with. Our goal is to never reach our goal."
C- "Oh how strange. So how do you survive?"

I- "We don't survive, we live. We don't have the same problems that you have here because we don't arrive at anything. We feed ourselves and each other with the harvest of our minds."
C- "I'd love to understand the space you live in because most people here I'm sure would like to live where you are. It's not easy though, we can't seem to work up the courage to leave behind what we own. It's property that paralyzes us and keeps us grounded and safe here. It's nice here."

I- "You do not need to leave here in order to arrive where I am. You are where you are and it is the same place that I am."
C- "What?"

I- "No one lives outside of true reality. You do not breath a different air that I breath or drink a different water that I drink. You just are. The train in your mind can only go to one station, the choice is yours if you want to get off. The journey is only as far as you make it."

..... to be continued....


Creativity haunts me like a smile of a beautiful woman on the street